The Smartest Rat in the Room.
There’s a version of me I know too well.
He’s efficient, driven, constantly in motion. He replies to emails while brushing his teeth, listens to podcasts at 1.5x, and treats rest like a reward you earn—not a right you honour. He gets results. But he also forgets to ask why he’s doing any of it.
That version of me lives by default.
When I’m in that state, it’s not because I’ve made some big, bad decision.
It’s because I’ve stopped choosing at all. I’ve let urgency win.
And worse, I’ve let the design of my life be shaped by invisible algorithms—of culture, of cortisol, of convenience.
Our brains, when constantly hijacked by inputs, can’t hold clarity.
And if we’re not careful, we end up building impressive lives that don’t feel like ours.
I’ve seen this not just in myself, but in the leaders I coach.
The sharper their minds, the sneakier the trap.
Certainty becomes a shield. Workaholicism —a way to cover doubt.
They’re “winning”… but somehow numb to what they actually value.
Here’s what I’m learning, slowly and imperfectly:
The antidote isn’t more certainty. It’s better questions.
Not the ones that come from optimisation or comparison. But the ones that come from stillness.
Questions like:
What do I believe the most with the least evidence?
Am I chasing what matters—or just what I’m good at?
Who am I without my calendar?
Some days, I still forget.
I get swept into the dopamine loop, the urgent meeting, the clear-but-shallow goal.
But then I remember: It’s not about having the answers.
It’s about staying in the questions long enough to remember what’s real.
“It’s one thing to get what you want. It’s another thing to want what’s worth getting.”
— Shane Parrish
Where in your life might you be living by default—not design?
Sit with that question for a moment.
Then ask again tomorrow.
Stay steady,
Jed
